Why Does It Seem Like Everyone Has Got Their Life Together But Me?

Sometimes I scroll through social media or talk to friends and it feels like everyone else has life sorted. Careers, relationships, holidays, gym routines—meanwhile I’m just trying to remember if I ate breakfast. If you’ve ever felt like this, you’re not alone.

The truth is, most people are only showing their highlights. That Instagram post about a friend’s promotion doesn’t include the sleepless nights, the arguments, or the times they doubted themselves. People curate what they share, and it often looks much shinier than the reality.

As an autistic ADHD man, I find this feeling hits extra hard. I already spend so much energy just managing daily life—sensory overload, organisation struggles, and the constant tug-of-war between hyperfocus and procrastination. It can feel unfair to compare my behind-the-scenes with someone else’s polished trailer.

So what helps?

Shift the lens. Instead of “they’ve got it all together,” remind yourself: “they’re just showing the parts they want me to see.”

Define your version of “together.” For some people it’s a house, for others it’s self-acceptance or finally finding a routine that works. Your goals don’t have to match anyone else’s.

Celebrate small wins. Did you cook yourself a meal? Walk the dog? Send that one email you’d been avoiding? That counts. That’s progress.

Remember timing is different for everyone. Some people hit milestones early, others later. Life isn’t a race—it’s more like everyone’s on their own weird hiking trail.

The feeling that “everyone else has it together but me” is mostly an illusion. Nobody is fully “together.” Everyone has cracks, struggles, and doubts—they just might not be visible to you.

And honestly? If you’re showing up, trying again each day, and finding moments of joy along the way—that’s pretty together already.